Ministry of Inefficient Behaviour Directive No. 138321

§ 1.01 Directive.
Effective immediately, any person or persons convicted of riding on, in, or about a bicycle, as defined in this section, in a subject zone, as defined in this section, shall be subject to a term of house arrest for a period of thirty days and a fine of $1,500.

§ 1.02 Rationale.
It is the purpose of this directive to curtail that behaviour which has become so trying to the director, namely the traveling by bicycle on a surface more particularly suited to travel by motorcars. The director finds such behaviour not only highly annoying but also inefficient. It is the opinion of the director that the traveling by bicycle in an area also heavily traveled by motorcars is inefficient in that such behavior brings an intolerably high risk of grave bodily injury or death to the cyclist and an equally intolerable high risk of myocardial infarction to the director when such behavior by the cyclist requires him to reduce the speed of his motorcar to avoid causing said grave bodily injury or death to the cyclist.




§ 1.03 Definitions.
As used in this section, the term "bicycle" means any vehicle with two wheels in tandem propelled by pedals.

As used in this section, the term "subject zone" means any geographic area within a two-mile radius of the immediate location of the director.

As used in this section, the term "director" means the author of this blog, the Right Honourable Horace Wimsey.

§ 1.04 Defenses to Other Actions.
No action shall lie in any court for the bodily harm or death of one found in violation of this directive.